Theft in relationships

Relationships are always going to be somewhat complex. There are going to be things that upset the balance of things, cause fights, problems, and upsets. There are also going to be the times when things are going really well. So, what do you do when you experience theft in your relationships? Consider the following:

1. Relationships are based on trust, and theft is a severe breach of that trust. Whether your sister, father, or significant other steals from you, theft breaches trust. In your relationship, the person should be able to come to you and ask you for money, items, etc. if they need them, not take them from you. Theft has a way of undermining years of trust, and making you weary, and uncertain around the person. It does not matter what they steal or why, theft dooms a relationship because it kills the one thing required for a relationship to truly be healthy.
2. There is not a good reason for theft. Theft is a serious offense, and if you wanted to report it, they could get a criminal record for it. Even if the theft is small, it is illegal and immoral to take something that does not belong to you without permission, whether it is money or an item. If the person you have a relationship tries to justify their theft, you need to remember that it is a character flaw, and let them know that in relationships you require honesty, and that you expect someone to be able to come to you and ask if they need something. This does not mean you will always give them what they ask for, but that you will not tolerate someone stealing from you, especially someone you have a relationship with. You have to put your foot down, or it will happen again and again.
3. Decide what your line is. If you are okay with them stealing small things from you, what will stop them from stealing larger things. If they are willing to take $10 from your wallet or purse, what would stop them from taking $10,000? The point is, theft is theft, and if you justify or allow "small theft" larger thefts will eventually happen. Usually thieves escalate. The relationship may be important enough to you to forgive a theft, but never make it okay. As soon as you do, you ruin your relationship and condemn it to always being subject to the breach of trust, and the insecurity of never knowing if the relationship is real, or if you are being used.
It is unfortunate, but true that people tend to steal from those they know. It is easier, they have better access to things, and are less likely to be reported or punished for it. However, it is a poison to relationships, and should not be tolerated. Report it to the police, put your foot down, and let them know you love them, but not their actions, and that you will not support such actions, or sit by idly and allow them to happen.

Working with family

We all have work, and we all have family, and on their own they can be wonderful. However, sometimes mixing the two can be a nightmare. Most people would caution against working with family. However, there are ways to make it work. Just as any relationship, you can make a working relationship work with family, as long as you follow some rules of conduct. Consider the following:

1. It is professional, but no one can completely separate his or her personal and professional life, so you should not expect someone to. If you do, you are set up for disappointment, and problems. So, if you do not think that working with someone because of personal feelings may conflict with your ability to act professionally, then do not work with them. If someone is going to use personal feelings and problems to blackmail you into higher pay, more time off, or something else, then do not work with them.
2. No favoritism. When working with family, the thing you have to be the most careful about is not favoring family. This is especially important if you are in a position of management, or make decisions regarding pay rates or something else that could be construed as favoritism. It is difficult not to give a little favoritism to family, but be careful that no one else is getting the shaft because of it. For example, do not give a lousy employee extra shifts because they are family, and exclude a good employee from the extra shifts they want.
3. Don't get involved with large amounts of money. Money has a power over people and can make them do stupid things. So, if you want to maintain the relationship, and have happy business dealings, do not get involved with family with large amounts of money. If you want to invest with family, or work with them involving money, only use the money you can manage to lose.
4. Set up professional, legal contracts. It can't hurt, and it keeps everyone being fair and honest, so that personal grudges and problems can't get in the way of you having a job. If you work for your parent, and you get in a fight over how they cut your child's, their grandchild's. hair, would you want your job to be at risk? The point is that if you want to feel safe in your job when working with family, make it a legal contract.
5. Know whom you can work with and whom you can't. Some family is too sensitive, or too confrontational to work with. It can mean a large headache with the guilt factor in that if you fire someone, or reduce their wage, they will not be able to make their bills, and the family will blame you for leaving them destitute.
The rules of working with family are strict and difficult to follow, and it is like working in a mine field, one wrong step can not only affect your relationship, but your business. So, avoid working with family.

Vivace

Attracting youth to classical music

 Vivace

Posted // April 26,2012 - For a guys’ night out, Cody Christensen wears a cardigan and tie rather than a Utah Jazz jersey; instead of nachos and beer, he and his friends eat tiny cupcakes and drink Pinot Noir as they hobnob with world-class classical musicians.
“What happens when you go to the bar to watch a sports game? You don’t talk to people, and you don’t get much out of it,” says the full-time chemistry student. Christensen prefers a night of symphony with Vivace, the “funkified” group of young(ish)—20- to 50-somethings—concert-goers who get their groove on to classical music. The Utah Symphony Utah Opera program was designed to help demystify the traditional symphony experience and make it more accessible.
A Vivace evening begins at Abravanel Hall, where the members sit together, read from a unique, witty version of the program notes, watch a hand-picked concert and then attend an afterparty with Utah Symphony and Utah Opera performers. There’s booze (lots of it), hors d’oeurvres and lively conversation—not your stereotypical stuffy, staid night on the town.
“It’s like a little bit of New York in Salt Lake,” Christensen says, adding that this is his first season attending the series, which celebrated its seventh anniversary March 2012.
Vivace is part of a trend called young-professional groups that are in other sizeable symphony markets like San Francisco, Boston and Chicago. Vivace—which means lively or vivacious—is the third incarnation at the Utah Symphony; the current run began April 30, 2005.
“If we’re not reaching out to the next generation of patrons—if an organization isn’t doing that, they are screwing themselves in 20 years,” says Vivace audience-development consultant Crystal Young-Otterstrom, adding that Vivace is reaching out to a specific kind of consumer: one with an interest in culture, but not a regular patron of the traditional arts—they need something edgier.
The advisory board picks USUO performances that have a little bite—the contemporary opera Of Mice & Men rounds out this season’s five. Board members pick performances with guest artists and conductors who are closer to Vivace’s target age range, and, more importantly, they pick performances with modern pieces. Vivace attended the classic Beethoven’s Fifth this year, but mainly for the world premiere of Michael Jarrell’s Cello Concerto. And the March event, Brahm’s Symphony No. 1, was chosen for Toru Takemitsu’s impressionistic viola concerto, “A String Around Autumn.”
There are attractors aside from music and alcohol, though. “I think the biggest draw is meeting like-minded people. I often hear, ‘I thought I was the only person my age who liked classical music,’ ” Young-Otterstrom says, adding that it’s a great place for singles to mingle—although Christensen isn’t of like mind.
“I don’t go trolling for dates at the symphony, by any means—I don’t think you can. I run into people like my junior high science professor,” Christensen says with a laugh.
For Wen Flatt, associate principal second violin, it’s also about making a connection. With rock & roll, musicians face the audience and there’s a give/take relationship. “Sometimes we don’t get a reaction immediately [in concert]. It always makes me happy to know that they are still awake,” she says with a laugh.
“I love the Vivace events, because I get to speak to the people and hear their thoughts about the music,” Flatt says. It’s a casual high-brow affair, to be sure.